


Memories Remain

by LynnKutsujuu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Dean crying, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Regarding Dean, Sentence Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 08:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11055345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynnKutsujuu/pseuds/LynnKutsujuu
Summary: Written for the monthly sentence challenge. Prompt: "Why do I remember kissing you?"This takes place during the season 12 episode "Regarding Dean" where Dean loses his memory. Strangely enough though, a new memory began to rise to the surface, something that had long been erased.





	Memories Remain

Dean turned on the sink, letting the water pool in his hands before splashing it over his face. He took a moment to focus his thoughts.

"Okay." he said, staring into the mirror confidently.

"My name is Dean Winchester." _That one's easy._ " Sam is my brother." He pictured Sam easily in his mind. They were just talking. His brother was going to help him through this. "Mary Winchester is my mom." He didn't remember her face this second, but it's okay. Her name. He knows that. He won't forget that. "and Casti-" Dean hesitated for a moment. No, that didn't sound right.

_Not Castiel,_ he thought. _Cas... Angel._

An image flickered across his memory. _Soft lips pressed against his own. A dark-haired man in a dirty trenchcoat...Cas. The smell of trees and dirt. The sound of trickling water from a river._ As quickly as it came, the memory faded away as if it had never been.

"Cas is... my best friend." Dean smiled to himself. This wasn't so hard. He could hold on. He could remember. He closed his eyes for a second before again focusing on the mirror in front of him.

"My name is Dean Win-" He faltered. _What, what was it?_ He struggled to grasp at the name as it tried to slip away, but managed to catch the word before it faded completely.

"Winchester."

His lips began to move, to say the next part. _What was the next part?_ Again, he tried to pull the names from the edge of his mind, but they slipped out of his grasp like smoke from a net. Again, the memory of the stranger in the trench coat flickered. _No. No, that's not it. Focus._ His eyes flicked back and forth as he tried to remember the names. His family.

_My name,_ he reminded himself, determined to hold on.

"My name." he stuttered. "My name is D-" Again it slipped away. _My name. Come on. I have to. I can't lose this._ He pressed on.

"My..." He breathed as he felt his eyes beginning to water. _My name. My name._

"My name is... is-" It was there. It was _right_ there. But it wasn't, not anymore. The harder to tried to pull at the memory, the more he felt it slipping away. And now there was nothing. He searched the mirror for answers, as if it could tell him. His breathing hitched and his vision started to turn wet and blurry.

"My.." He couldn't find it. His lips moved, but nothing would come. He couldn't remember. His life, his identity, everything was out of reach. He was losing himself. Dean was losing his mind and he couldn't stop it.

"I- I don't know." He whispered. Tears slipped down his cheeks. He couldn't even remember what he was trying to remember.

"I don't know." He looked into the mirror, but he didn't recognize the face staring back. His own reflection was a stranger.

The door opened and he saw the reflection of a man standing behind him. It was a dark-haired figure in a trench coat. The memory returned.

_Soft lips._

_Warm breath._

_Blue eyes._

_Calloused hands._

Dean stared at the man in the mirror, not bothering to turn around. The man stared back silently, unmoving, as if he was unsure of how to approach him. Dean couldn't remember anything. He couldn't remember his own face in the mirror, but that memory of this man, this stranger, was one he couldn't shake.

"Why do I remember kissing you?" He asked. The dark-haired man's eye brows knitted together and he tilted his head, confused.

"Dean-"

"Who is Dean?" Dean snapped, spinning around to face him. He was frustrated at himself more than anything. "Who are you? Why do I remember you? I don't... I don't know my own god damn name. I don't... I... But I remember you. Why?"

"I- I don't know what you're-"

"There was a forest, and, and water. I remember we..." Dean went silent, his eyes searching.

Dean caught the look of realization and disbelief that shown in the strangers blue eyes before it was masked, his face quickly shifting to a stoic expression.

"I... Dean, you're confused."  He lifted a hand to Dean's cheek, wiping away the tears that streaked his face. The touch felt oddly intimate to Dean, and he wondered who this man was to him. "This curse. It's progressing. Sam, Rowena, and are doing the best they can to find a cure, but you have to hold on." Said the stranger. "I will remain here and watch over you."

            Dean didn't understand what he was talking about. He didn't know who Sam and Rowena were.  He stared at the man, not remembering what they were talking about. But an unidentified sense of dread and loss still weighed heavy on him. The stranger's eyes filled with pity and he rested a reassuring hand on Dean's shoulder.

"It's going to be alright, Dean. We are _going_ to save you. I won't _let_ you die." He said.

            Dean reached over with his other hand and placed it over the man's that was gripping his shoulder. He didn't know why he felt the way he did, why he had tears in his eyes, or who this man was, but he took comfort in the touch. The man smiled weakly before removing his hand and leading the hunter over to the bed where he pressed lightly on his shoulders, urging him to sit. Dean complied, watching the stranger's every move as he sat down next to him and turned on the... light box?... on the other side of the room. _Wait._ There was a sticky note at the top edge of the box. _"_ TV". _Oh,_ Dean thought.

            He looked at the TV _._ Animated figures ran around the screen. There was a cat trying to lure a mouse into a trap with cheese, but the mouse was onto him and made the trap backfire, dropping a piano on the cat. Dean let out an amused chuckle and scooted back, settling himself against the headboard as he watched. He patted the bed next to him, inviting his trenchcoat wearing friend to join him. The man hesitated for a moment before carefully kicking off his shoes and shuffling up the bed so that he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with the hunter. Dean seemed to have forgotten all of his worries for the time being as they sat together, closer than most friends sit, watching cartoons.

_____________________________________________________________

            The curse was lifted. Rowena was able to cure him, and now she was off, back to whatever it is evil witches do in their spare time. Dean had his memory back, and everything was back to normal. Well... Not everything.

            There was still that strange memory that kept coming back to him while he was cursed. He'd forgotten everything, even his brother, but that one kept appearing. It wasn't a memory he'd had before the curse, but now it was at the forefront of his mind. Details surrounding it were still a bit fuzz, but that kiss...

            It was purgatory. He was with Cas. He wasn't sure where Benny was at this point of time, but he must not have been present for the moment. Dean remembered the feeling of Cas's hand tight around his. His other hand gripping Dean's jacket, pulling him in. The angel's soft lips pressed lightly against his. The feeling was unexpected and sudden, and it only lasted a second. Castiel's blue eyes stared intensely into his own, which were wide with surprise.  Dean could feel his warm breath ghosting over his skin. A few heartbeats passed. He wasn't sure which one of them made the next move, but they were locked together again. This time the kiss was needy... desperate. Dean found himself returning it with equal  passion, sinking into it, enjoying the feeling of their lips moving together.  Again, it was Castiel who broke the kiss. He tried to pull away from the hunter, but Dean found himself clinging to the angel.

"I'm sorry." Cas said. His hand raised and he gently placed two fingers to Dean's forehead. The memory ends there.

            The angel was leaning against the side of the Impala, waiting. The hunter didn't know what he was going to say. Cas was his best friend. But... Dean couldn't help but feel... He couldn't form words to describe it in his mind. Or maybe he was too afraid to. Dean wandered over to where Cas was standing, trying to keep his expression from revealing the influx of emotions that he was feeling.

"You told me you wanted to talk." said Cas, eyeing him curiously. Dean wondered if he had already guessed what this was about.

They stared at each other quietly for a long time, searching each other's eyes as if that would provide all of the answers. Cas almost jumped when Dean reached out. His fingers glided over the side of Castiel's face, Dean's eyes still searching. The angel held perfectly still, watching him anxiously, the anticipation showing visibly in his eyes. Dean couldn't belief how beautiful he was, or why he'd never...

"Cas..."

Dean's hand dropped to his side. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the moment that would change their relationship forever.

"Why do I remember kissing you?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time ever doing a prompt. I hope it was alright. Thanks so much for reading <3


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